


Heavy Rain

by QuietArtemis



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Depression, M/M, Newt can be an asshole, Suicide Attempt, They work it out in the end though, poor Percival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietArtemis/pseuds/QuietArtemis
Summary: After a particularly intense fight, Percival walks out of their home without intent of coming back.





	Heavy Rain

It was rare for Newt and Percival to fight, but when they did, things sometimes got ugly.

Surprisingly enough, it was Percival who was more collected and more in control of his words than Newt. Scamander, if provoked, could be downright vicious and cruel, especially when he was defending his friends or his creatures.

“How many times do I need to ask you to keep your creatures out of my study room and our bedroom?” Graves shouted, holding a family portrait shredded to pieces. It was one painting he cared a lot about. It was made in one of the best times of his youth when he was happy and when his parents were openly proud and affectionate towards him. The niffler destroyed it completely, trying to acquire the golden frame and a painted jewelry from it. 

“It wasn’t his fault! He doesn’t know any better!” Newt countered, cuddling the creature in his arms.

“Yes, he does! And so do you! Your creatures keep destroying my things and you do absolutely nothing about it! You’re not even sorry,” Percival snapped back. “Your niffler doesn’t even need to be in your care. He’s more than perfectly fine. You should finally let him go into the wild or I will.”

Oh, that struck a nerve. The magizoologist glared at his lover, holding the creature against his chest, protectively.

“Or perhaps, it’s you I should let go of!” Newt snarled. “You don’t care about anything else but your precious possessions. You’re a selfish, self-centred old man who has so little heart he can’t even stand having friends in his life. Everything is always about you and your job, and how important role you have! Or like right now, about your house and your things! I’m sick and tired of this! Of you! If you can’t accept my creatures for what they are, then  _ au revoir _ ! No wonder nobody likes you! No wonder nobody noticed when you were kidnapped! In fact, they might have been better off with Grindelwald in charge!”

Percival gaped at Newt, stunned into silence. He couldn’t even breathe out a word. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he stumbled out of the room. Scamander didn’t even try to apologize, staring him down as he left.

Graves took his coat and walked out of the house. It was cold and rainy night, but he didn’t care. All he could think were his (ex?) lover’s scathing words and hateful gaze.

Perhaps, Newt was right? Perhaps, he was an awful human being who deserved what happened to him? He didn’t even know he was mistreating Newt so much and it hurt to know that he did it without noticing or meaning to.

Percival spent the entire night in cold and rain, wandering aimlessly down the empty streets. If he was crying, no one would know any better with the raindrops covering his face. The ache in his chest was unbearable.

He didn’t know when or how, but he found himself on a bridge. Beneath it, the river flows in powerful tide, beautiful and dangerous. 

Would it be too bad if he jumped? They’d all be better off without him, right? Percival was tired of fighting the nightmares, the gossips, the memories… He only lived for Newt, really, who brought sunshine and warmth into his dreary life. He hoped all that darkness was just coming from his mind, evil whispers of depression and trauma. Every single day and every single night were a struggle to keep sane and keep moving forward. Percival never talked to Newt about his thoughts, since he didn’t want to burden his lover with the darkness haunting him. It seemed though, it was all the truth, not just his mind being a loud, awful place, and the only person he loved and who he thought loved him, grew to hate him.

Graves pulled himself over the barrier, balancing on the very edge of the bridge. The river called to him, offering her cold, deadly embrace.

Without thinking much, Percival let go. Cold water immediately pulled him down, spinning him around and pouring into his lungs. 

He didn’t fight it. It didn’t even hurt. All he could think of was how peaceful he felt before finally slipping out of consciousness.

 

Meanwhile, Newt was left at home, pacing around angrily. The niffler made a soft noise, looking sadly at him. The creature understood very well he was the one to cause his momma’s and Percival’s distress.

“Don’t worry, little one,” Newt reassured. “He won’t take you away from me. We’re leaving and never coming back.”

He didn’t leave that night, but he packed his things. Scamander didn’t spare a glance at his and Percival’s photos. He didn’t look at his lover’s medication nor the comfortable clothes he loved to borrow.

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

The next morning, the magizoologist went to MACUSA, wanting to say goodbye to Tina and Queenie. The workers seemed in panic over something, running around and whispering between each other.

“What’s that about?” he asked, smiling at the sisters who sat in the cafeteria.

“You don’t know?” Tina asked in confusion.

“I don’t know what exactly?” Newt asked, growing somewhat concerned.

“Mr Graves didn’t come to work today. He’s missing. We searched everywhere and we can’t find him,” the elder Goldstein explained. She looked very worried for her boss.

“Oh, well. He’ll come back for sure,” he shrugged. Tina stared at him, shocked by his indifference.

“You two had a fight, didn’t you?” Queenie asked, knowingly but without accusation.

The magizoologist flinched, giving her a single nod.

“Well, you surely know all about it, don’t you,” he said, looking away from her gaze. The blonde sighed.

“You do know you were unfair to him, right?” she asked.

“No, I wasn’t!” Newt defended. “He wanted me to send my niffler off! He doesn’t care for me or my creatures, just for his possessions and his job!”

“Honey, please, sit,” Queenie said, gently. Scamander sat down as she asked. “Yes, he does like things orderly and clean, but as far as I know, he only asked you to keep your creatures out of the two rooms in the entire manor. Why is it such a big request?”

“I want my creatures to be as free as they can. And the niffler doesn’t know any better. When he sees something shiny, he goes for it,” Newt shrugged.

“You want them free, but you oppose the idea of setting him into the wild?” she asked. Newt knew he was caught. “Anyways, Newt, how would you feel if Percival came into your case and threw things out without your permission or changed around the enclosures to his will?”

He kept his mouth shut, knowing he had no good answer to this.

“You’re protective of your case. It’s your safe space. To him, his space is his bedroom and the study. Give him the respect you want to be shown in return,” Queenie said. “And please, apologize to him before you go. It’s okay if you want to break up with him, but you owe him as much.”

 

They didn’t find Percival that day. Or the next. Newt waited with baited breath on any news, but Graves was gone. Completely disappeared. Was he kidnapped again? Was he killed? As time passed and Newt had the time to ponder more on the situation, he grew to regret his words. Younger Goldstein was right and he wanted to apologize to Percival.

He prayed he’d be given a chance to.

 

Three days later, Percival was found. He was lying on the riverbend, unconscious. Later on, it would be determined, it was actually merfolk who saved him from drowning. Nobody knew how was he even alive after spending three days in the cold. A miracle, some said. Others claimed, it was his magic. Some spinned the tale that the merfolk not only pushed him out of the water, but casted a protection spell on him, keeping him safe. There was an urban legend going around that they’d do that for those who fell into the river by accident… or on purpose.

Whichever version is the truth will remain unknown. The truth was that, Percival’s heartbeat was barely traceable and his breathing nearly stopped. He needed to be resuscitated twice at the hospital.

Mediwizards and mediwitches shook their heads. Graves was barely hanging there and to them it seemed like he didn’t want to live.

Knowing his encounter with Grindelwald, nobody would blame him if that was the case.

The Goldstein sisters kept Newt in the dark about details of Percival’s health. They didn’t want him to feel guilty. Neither of them was particularly good at lying so they just didn’t answer his questions. He filled the silences with his own conclusions, some more accurate than others. While the magizoologist worried sick, he didn’t have the strength to face his lover in a hospital bed.

Meanwhile, Percival woke up four days after he was found. He opened his eyes and started sobbing, not wanting to live in this world anymore. He was an awful human being and he lost it all because of it. The nurses tried to calm him down and offered to invite Newt, but Percival just shook his head.

“He doesn’t want me,” he mumbled. “And he’s completely right.”

After that, Percival didn’t spoke a single word to anybody.

 

Coming back home was the saddest event he had to endure. Graves walked to his manor as slowly as possible, taking the longest route he could. He was informed the medical staff would check on him soon, so they know he doesn’t try anything stupid again.

Percival unlocked the door and walked to the living room. Fire danced in the fireplace and Graves sat in his favorite armchair, watching it. Not a thought was crossing his mind, his brain felt completely quiet for once. 

It was an odd shape of peace.

“Percival?” called out a timid voice. Graves turned his head slowly, focusing his dull, dark eyes on Newt. He expected the magizoologist to be gone by now already.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. His voice wasn’t accusatory, merely detachedly curious.

“To… To apologize,” Scamander muttered, standing by the doorframe, unsure if he should or not.

“You said nothing that wasn’t true,” Graves mumbled in strange acceptance. Newt gasped, surprised that perhaps what he said in anger was exactly what Percival thought of himself.

“No… No, I wasn’t right. I’m so sorry. I was angry and I said the most hurtful things I could, but I don’t believe them. I just wanted to get under your skin,” he said, running towards Percival to kneel by the other man and taking Graves’ hand in two of his own.

“You only regret it because you feel guilty that I disappeared,” Percival commented lightly, feeling too tired to be angry or offended.

“N-no!... That’s not true!” the magizoologist sobbed, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you so much! I was… I was being silly. Queenie talked to me and explained why I was in the wrong. Now I truly regret it. I would’ve grown to regret it anyways. I love you and I know I was being horrible to you over nothing.”

Percival was quiet for a long time. In the corner of his eye, he saw the destroyed family portrait.

“That painting was a memento of one of the happiest moments in my life,” he said with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I just got into the auror programme. My parents were so very proud of me. We celebrated that summer with the entire family because I’d leave again in September. We’d go from place to place, spending as much time together as possible. This portrait was made in Europe, in the last week of our holidays. I can’t remember the last time me, my parents and my siblings laughed so much or had so much fun together.”

Newt looked away, ashamed. Now he understood why Percival was so upset about the painting.

“In my bedroom and in my study I keep things that are most precious to me. Things that help me remember the good times I had with my family, friends and with you. I spent most time in those two rooms, so I keep there what helps me smile and relax during stressful times. I don’t care for all the things I have in this house, but there are things I care very much about for.”

“I… I understand,” Newt whispered, kneeling still. It broke his heart how sad and detached Percival looked. He seemed like a shell of himself. “Please, forgive me. Even if you didn’t care about these items, I shouldn’t have allowed my creatures to destroy them.”

Graves was silent for a long while again.

“I forgive you,” he sighed finally. “Will you be leaving then?”

The magizoologist shook his head, sobbing quietly.

“Where were you?” Newt asked after he calmed down.

Percival looked at him, slightly surprised that his lover didn’t know. Scamander looked upset enough and the director didn’t want to add more to his lover’s guilt.

“Just an accident, really… The bridge was missing a part of barrier. I slipped and fell into the river. Some merfolk saved me, or so I heard. I don’t remember much of it.” he explained lightly. Too lightly.

Newt’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t buy Graves’ lie at all.

“Can you promise me you won’t slip on unsafe bridges again? Or any bridges, in fact?” he asked, implying that he has some idea what happened. Tina and Queenie were too tight-lipped about it anyways. He wasn’t stupid.

“I promise to try.”

It was the most Newt could get from him. He felt bad that it took this much for him to realize how much Percival suffered. Newt always thought his lover was strong and basically immortal, and the pills helped some with Graves’ night terrors and anxiety, but weren’t necessary. He learned the hard way the entirety of the problem, the depth of his lover’s inner suffering. It hit him to realize how fleeting Percival’s presence was and how easily it could be to push him beyond the limits.

“If you want to go, I’ll understand,” Graves said, lightly.  “I know I am… difficult to deal with. I don’t want you to stay because you feel bad to leave me.”

The magizoologist bit his lip. Things weren’t easy, that was true, but in those few days he realized he wasn’t as blameless as he wanted himself to be.

“I want to stay and be with you. Neither of us is entirely faultless. It was easy to pin the blame on you for things going wrong in our relationship. I always stood up for my creatures and I always will do that, but truth be told, I can be sometimes blind to their shortcomings and the chaos they can unravel. I will try to be more aware of the problems they cause and will do my best to keep them out of your study and the bedroom, and fix things they break,” Newt promised.

“And I will try to prioritize you more than my work. I know you sometimes get lonely here, after your book is all done and finished. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you’re a second to my job. I overwork because I want to keep the civilians and my aurors safe,” Percival explained and the other man nodded, understanding. “I can’t promise to come home every day exactly at 5 p.m., but I will try to be home earlier and spend time with you rather than over the documents.”

“And no more slipping on bridges?”

“As I said, I will try not to.”

Newt smiled a little, earning a shadow of a smile on Percival’s face. He sat in his lover’s lap, cuddling against the other. They both knew it was a long, rocky road before them and things would be difficult for a while. Their problems won’t magically stop being there, and that Percival’s inner demons won’t stop haunting them, too. They’d overcome it all, one step at the time.

**Author's Note:**

> Me to me: It will be just a one-paged drabble!  
> -writes 5 pages-
> 
> In other news, I have another story in writing. I will try my hand at noir! It's not as easy genre as I thought, so I will only post it if I finish it.


End file.
